This isn't really all that important, just something I wanted to jot down. A notion struck me earlier today that a key to better understanding something like aikido is to be comfortable and confident in the path you're taking at the pace you're experiencing it in. It opens you up to better familiarize yourself with what you're doing without having the access baggage of self-doubt(or consciousness or worry or fear). Follow along at your own pace and revel in it. Sure some people may get to A goal or THE goal faster than you or become better than you but you'll never achieve the optimal design for you by chasing after what everyone else has.
Anyhoo, that probably came out as a lot of hooey but when that thought floated into my mind I realized that if I had been able to figure that out way back when I wouldn't have beat myself up near as much over the years of learning as I have. I suppose I have trying to teach nijusan (in the way it makes sense to me) to thank for showing me that.
I owe Pat a bunch for pushing me into trying to teach.